Gentleman or Pushover?

March 31, 2010

Today someone said to me, “the definition of a gentleman or lady is to make everyone feel comfortable at all times.” I wasn’t sure which definition of gentleman she was reading, so I looked up certain keywords and came across this essay: The Definition of a Gentleman

The jist is that a “Gentleman” avoids conflict by being open-minded enough to see all sides of arguments, and respect others opinions. They’re mindful of all people and socially experienced enough to be kind towards shy people and accepting of annoying people.

And yes, someone who’s educated and experienced enough to smooth out a rough situation is always nice. But I think more and more weak people are using this definition as an excuse to sit and bitch about the injustices that have been done to them without taking initiative to do something about it. People who merely pander towards everyone and avoid arguments are just afraid of conflict and unable to stand up for themselves. They call themselves “gentlemen” because it’s a good excuse to continue being weak and never formulating specific opinions for themselves. You can be kind and observant of the people around you without losing yourself in the process. Someone who’s constantly worrying about how OTHER people feel seems so unempowered to me.

The worst part about it is that I feel like that road is taken, not out of some higher-road type shit but because people genuinely have no idea what stance to take. I’d rather risk making someone feel uncomfortable than be a pushover.


One Response to “Gentleman or Pushover?”

  1. superalzy Says:

    Amen! That pretty much sums up my day today.

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